It is interesting to me that in this ever changing world of social media, twitter, Facebook, instagram, free to air television and the list goes on that it has been reported in an article by Lifeline, that 8-10 people in Australia feel that life is becoming a more lonelier place. I do not think it is unreasonable to think that with all the technology of today that you would think that it would be the opposite. It has never been easier to be in contact with people. However, there is a difference between talking to people and feeling a real connection and I believe it is the real connection that people are talking about.
On talk back radio (3AW) the other day, Dennis Walter and his resident psychologist, Sabrina were discussing this topic and asked for people to call in and discuss their views, experiences, thoughts on this topic. A man phoned in to say he has been lonely for over 20 years. He works full-time, plays golf and gets out and about but he feels no real connection to anyone. I thought that was very sad but also very telling. It highlighted for me that we do not really know what people are going through. Clearly this man is able to function day to day and yet many people would be unaware of the loneliness that he is experiencing. I am guessing that some people will react by either stating it is his fault, or he should just make more of an effort, or what is wrong with him. This displays to me the lack of empathy and understanding that is required and could account for the reasons why people are too frightened to be really honest and state what they are really feeling. It would be another form of rejection, which in turn could make them feel more lonely than they already feel or re-affirm to them that no one really understands just how they are feeling. Hence why they keep it to themselves and maybe why it is so difficult for them to ask for help.
So how do we help people who are suffering from loneliness or maybe we are feeling alone. Here are some suggestions that you may find useful:
- Volunteer somewhere. There are many places that are looking for volunteers and it is a way of feeling useful, connected, to meet people and do something that you enjoy and have a sense of achievement in.
- Get out and about. Go and have a coffee somewhere, or go to the park and read a book, walk the dog, wash the car. All these activities can help in getting you out of your own space and have the potential for you to meet people while you are doing these activities.
- Go visit some friends or family and if you are unable to do this maybe go to a nursing home where there is a need for some company for the elderly.
- Join some interest groups. Look up meet up groups and see if there is anything that interests you there and enquire about it and join in.
In all of this, often the hardest part is admitting to others that you are lonely and then actually taking that first step to get out and about. However, it is important to address this because without some effort nothing is probably going to change.
If you are struggling with day to day life because you have lost hope, then read on, you may well find some helpful hints to help you feel better and more able to manage